We have now completed week seven of Kingdom Culture, a learning/studying series at my church, and it has given me so much clarity as to why I’ve been feeling how I’ve been falling short of self-fulfillment and it has allowed me to pull and piece together every substantial facet of my life from when I was a little girl until now. All my dots are starting to connect. I now understanding why I did the things I did – all of them have been puzzle pieces to my bigger picture.
Here are the puzzle pieces I have recognized so far:
– Growing up I always and forever did not want to be a preacher/pastor/work in the church simply because it was shoved down my throat as a kid and I was brought up in an extremely strict household. And it sucked. But why exactly was the feeling or statement of specifically ‘never wanting to be a preacher‘ on my heart in the first place? I think deep, deep down inside, I knew that serving God would be a part of my life, I just didn’t know how nor did I want to speak it into existence.
– I’ve always held some sort of leadership position from grade school till college. I was president of choir, class secretary, assistant manager in tennis, historian for my sorority, the list goes on. So I know I was born to lead or at least help lead in some capacity.
– I’ve always had an inclination to help others. Studying Sociology made me grow a philanthropist’s heart but I never resonated with any one organization so much to be so fueled and passionate about it and eventually pursue/become apart of it.
– I’ve always wanted to help girls/women in some capacity. I did volunteer work for an organization called ‘Girls on the Run’, an after school running/self-confidence program for middle schoolers. I even did my grad school capstone on a sports camp that instills positive self-esteem/confidence in adolescent girls – also something I would have loved to see come to life but never pursued it.
Now that I am where I am in life, I can see that all of these small fragments that had affected my life, thinking, and emotions in one way or the other all are finally beginning to serve a bigger purpose in my bigger picture.
I love what I do, I really do. I am beyond lucky and blessed to have the job that I have, however, I’m realizing that I’ve only begun to scratch the surface of my life calling.
So let’s see what 2019 brings. I’m excited for this and excited to bring y’all along for the ride!
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