Whenever I post daily devotionals on my Instagram story, I receive quite a few DMs about what to do when you’re feeling ‘stuck’ with God. Aka perhaps you’re feeling unmotivated to seek Him or you don’t find yourself getting excited about church or you’re so busy that you don’t have time or energy to put towards your relationship with Him.
I’ve been in this situation a couples times in the last few years. I’ll explain tactics that helped me get over this hump and get back on track. But first thing is first, I’m proud that you’re even able to acknowledge this void you feel. We get so caught up in constantly being on the go and becoming so consumed with life events/happenings that I feel it truly takes a special individual to be able to admit to themselves that they need to reconnect with God rather than living in denial or remain unaware that they’ve even begun drifting away from Him. So I welcome you! You are not alone.
TIP 1: CLEAR YOUR TREE OF FLOWERS
Two winters ago, I came across one of my favorite devotionals I’ve ever read. It was from Girlfriends in God. I don’t remember it word for word but will type it as best to my memory. The author talked about how she had this pretty tree in her yard. It was struggling to grow to its potential and she couldn’t figure out why. She watered it everyday, sometimes more than she felt she should have, but still, the growth just wasn’t there. She called an arborist to come check it out. He told her that all the pretty flowers she had planted around the tree were absorbing the water and nutrients before they could get to the tree’s roots. From the outside, the flowers around looked so beautiful next to the tree, but in reality, they were taking away from the tree’s essentials to live and grow properly. So she decided to clear out most of the flowers, only leaving a few. As soon as she did that, her tree grew and thrived.
She connected that with her life. We, especially women, love to fill our planners with pretty things. We write out all these events in our month’s calendar and are always looking to fill weekends or even weekdays with fun trips, outings, anything that would make our lives ‘look pretty/seem fun’ to the outside eye – even to our own eye as some of us may attach merit or worth to how fun our lives are. However, before we’d know it, our lives would become consumed with all these ‘pretty things’ that it would begin to take away time we should be spending with God. It looks great on paper, but spiritually, we are lacking because these ‘pretty things’ are sucking all our energy and thought consumption from all the planning and prepping we feel we need to do, leaving God as our last priority, if we ever even get to Him.
In order to live a life that not only makes God happy but makes us happy as well, we need to empty out our schedules and quite down… slow down the pace of our life. I’m not saying that you need to sit at home and never do anything, but examine what you’re doing and for what reasons you’re doing them. I was guilty of this. As soon as one weekend was over, I was already planning for the following and the following after that. It totally took away from my ability to focus on the now as well as God because I was too busy planning what we were going to do, what I was going to wear, who would be invited, etc.
My life, as mentioned in my previous blog post, has recently been so consumed with everything BUT God and thus, I have been suffering the consequences/devil attacks. I’m not superstitious because I know what happens to me, I bring upon myself, but when I was right with God, everything was amazing. And well, in the last month or so, I’ve been taken hard hits on literally a weekly basis. I’m not exaggerating when I say hard hits, as they have truly, truly been HARD. I’m won’t to go into detail because they’re very private, but the hardest hit I took happened during our honeymoon this past weekend. It was my final wake up call and what made me realize that this ish is foreal. I knew I had to truly regrouped mu focus. Not to say that my previously recent ‘coming to my senses’ was half-assed or anything, but I just didn’t feel as remorseful nor ‘on it’ moving forward as I had been in previous episodes. This past weekend forced me really to reassess my upcoming months and get my priorities straight, God being absolutely first, Tyler second, me like.. fourth. That means canceling plans that don’t deem essential, staying home and being physically and mentally sound (and being content with being sound – that’s the most important part), getting things in order for our new home together, and being a wife. Why? Because that’s what I need to do right now.
TIP 2: PUT A TIMER ON YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA USE, BE PRESENT
Two summers ago, when I went through a ‘mental/spiritual detox’, I laid off Instagram for two weeks. It was not only the best decision I ever made, but I just felt so clean, truly detoxed inside and out. I also deleted Twitter and actually have not used it since. Y’all.. you would be shocked/surprised how much time you spend scrolling on IG per day. There’s a way to view the usage on your phone under ‘Settings’. At my highest, it showed I was spending a minimum of 8-9 hours on the app per day. That’s honestly embarrassing. This was before Instagram was my occupation. Social media sucks your mental focus and energy, especially when you’re trying to regroup with God. What I did was set a timer on my phone for 15 minutes. I allowed myself to be on Instagram for 15 minutes, 3 times a day (morning, afternoon, evening). I didn’t go on Twitter at all, maybe for the first day, but after that, I really just found it to be irrelevant. Anyway, after that alarm would go off, I deleted the app and wouldn’t re-download it until my next set of 15 minutes. Deleting prevents you from being tempted to open it when you unlocked your screen.
So what did I do with the rest of my idle time?
– I prayed and talked to God. A lot. When I drove, I prayed and just talked to Him, told Him how I was feeling, and recapped Him just like you would a family member or significant other.
– I read more devotionals on Girlfriends in God. Don’t limit yourself to only one per day. Devotionals are archived for years. Scroll back and read others that interest you or catch your eye. God is always speaking to you. He will guide you to one that you need to read.
– Read books (any kind of book)! I restored my love for reading during this time. I forgot how much wisdom you can gain from reading. I personally am a sucker for self-help reads. I blended non-fictional self-help books with christian/faith-based self-help books. There’s always room for improvement! If you’re looking to improve your relationship with God, what better way than to reassess yourself and fix areas that are pulling you down or hindering you from experiencing God fully. Below are a few books I read during this time.
– Eat lunch or dinner somewhere alone. You’d be surprised how detoxing it is to eat alone in public. And don’t be afraid to! You will never look as weird or silly as you think you do. But just people watch, observe them, observe everything around you, listen to all the noises, be present. It makes you feel small but in the best way possible. You suddenly grow a little more selfless and vulnerable, but again, in the best way possible.
– Listen to worship music when you eat breakfast, get ready in the morning, or on your commute to school/work. This is the time in which you set the tone for your day. Worship music always puts my mind right and calm me mentally. I get so emotional with certain songs that I’ll literally tear up while I eat my eggs (lol), but hey, that’s great because that’s God touching my heart and that shows that I’m only getting closer to where I want to be with Him. Below is a small worship playlist I’ve curated for you guys full of my favorite songs.
I really wanted to attend one during one of my ‘bleh’ episodes, there just unfortunately were none around me at the time. But if there is, go. A lot of worship groups like Hillsong, Jesus Culture, Passion, etc. all take part of these large conferences. Some have themes, others are just evenings of worship with a short sermon. Everyone I know who has attended any of these has told me that the vibe is so powerful and addicting – that you become addicted for Jesus. How awesome is that. You’re in a huge room surrounded by thousands of young individuals who are crying out to God, touched by the Holy Spirit. You see how passionate others are and it lights a fire for you to achieve that for yourself. I really want to attend one soon. It’s on my bucket list.
These are just a few things I did that I felt helped me get out of my rut and I hope that even just one of them strikes a chord with you and helps you get back on track. It’s definitely hard, trust me I know! It’s a never ending relationship you have to work very hard at for the rest of your life. But it should be something you constantly strive for and never loose sight of because the prize is the greatest thing we will ever experience.
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